Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Here's my truth... I must confess.

This post isn't like the others, it's more so a declaration of my intent to commit murder. A lot of murders...namely victims that have 8 legs... less if they have been involved in an altercation that has left them missing an appendage or left with a mangled one...  

like the simple truth is...

 and I know I've mentioned it before.. but I seriously am terrified of spiders... like we just can not co-exist together. I had one on the ceiling of my shower area on Sunday.. and I couldn't find my spider killing spray and I didn't want that beast to fall on me while I awkwardly tried to kill it.. so.. I was like.. I.will.wait..

Well... I waited.. and now said spider is Missing in Action.. Like I know he is not dead... because I did not kill him.. so WHERE IS HE? He is alive somewhere.. and that thought literally makes me sleep with one eye open. I DO NOT want him to make a home in my belongings and decide to move with me to my new address... which is happening in 13 days.... EEEK! He is not welcomed. Neither are his friends, siblings, frenemies, etc.  Like.. stay the hell away from me. #pleaseandthankyou

I love my Dad.. really I do... and he's a great spider assassin, but on numerous occasions growing up he has either chased me with the spider carcass on the weapon of choice (TP, tissue, paper towel, etc.) or hasn't entirely killed it and come at me with the creature still showing signs of life. I, of course, would be all dramatic and.. I'm not saying this scared me for life... but it probably didn't help in my quest to qualm my fears of the Arachnid kind. 

I have this spidey-sense... like I can catch one out of the corner of my eye. Once I see it, commence the freak out. I have to quickly summon up the courage to swoop in for the kill.. and when it goes missing.. I just can't even... 

Truth is... I hope I find that spider, so I can kill it.  I'm sorry if you advocate for them.. yes, I know they kill bugs and such... like yay for helping deplete the bug pop... but when they invite themselves into my life... it is rude.. they are unwelcomed, unwanted, unappreciated... 

 photo lumusignature_zpsea7e72f2.png


  1. I share your hatred of these vile little creatures. They freak me out every time I see them....ugh!!!

  2. I have sooo many freaky spider stories its not even funny. Ick! And not to freak you out even more, but they say that at any given time you are no more than like 8ft away from a spider at all times. As long as I don't see them I'm fine. But once they try to make a run for it, it's game over lol

  3. I'm not sure how I got through your post... I can't begin to tell you how these things have ruined many many days in my life. I have a serious problem. Hint: peppermint or orange oil with dawn soap and water sprayed around your house supposedly deters them - for the new place. As for where that one is, I'd move out now. Not kidding!!

  4. this just gave me the creeps because I walked into a spiderweb while taking the dogs out. Now I'm convinced its on me somewhere