Thursday, April 30, 2015

Here's how I really feel about turning 30...



The A-to-Z challenge made me realize that there are so many things I yearn to experience, to try, and more importantly to share (whether it be here on le blog or in the company of others).

For the longest time, I've been scared of turning 30 (It's happening 2 weeks from tomorrow). I mean the thought of leaving my 20's is a bit frightening, but if you consider my time in gestation, I'm already technically past 30, so I do find some comfort in that. Aside from everyone I love the most getting older and the anticipatory grief of them dying, I struggled for a while with the aftermath of failed relationships that tarnished my expectations of where I thought I would should be at this milestone in my life. I thought I would be married and have kids when I turned 30... so with each year of my 20's passing, I questioned if there was perhaps something wrong with me, lamented on being alone forever, yada yada...

But here I am, two weeks from turning 30 and I realize that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Truthfully, I'm thankful for unanswered prayers and that I didn't get what I thought that I deserved. I'm not jaded by any means, perfection doesn't exist, so I'm not holding out for that, but I'm not going to settle for someone that isn't a perfect for me just for the sake of meeting a item on an agenda that shouldn't be there in the first place.

At this stage in my life, I feel quite lucky that I get another opportunity to fall in love again with the right person and I'm in no rush. When it's meant to happen it will. In the meantime, I'm blessed with all that I have. Two weeks shy of 30: I own a home; have no credit card debt; paid off my car; have six months of expenses saved; an established retirement account; am active in my community; have a job that I enjoy; have two masters degrees; have traveled overseas; have amazing friends and family. While I wouldn't mind being a bit thinner or having less issues with my skin (Rosacea and sun allergies blow...) honestly, I'm happier than I've ever been.

Do I want to get married one day? Absolutely, to the right person, not just to get married. Do I want kids? Maybe. All I know is that I'm finally to the point where  I'm looking forward to my 30's. The decade of my 20's was a bit rough, but I'm quite positive that the best is yet to come.

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2 comments:

  1. I love your outlook!!!! And I love that you don't want to settle and want to wait for the right person. Too many people get hung up on timelines and rush things. The perfect man will fall into your life when it's the right time. You have accomplished so much and built an amazing life for yourself; any man would be lucky to fall into that!!!

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    1. Thanks for your encouragement, Mel! It's been a process - I haven't always had this outlook, but I'm glad I do now. It's amazing how things can change.

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